Most of the time, life is a lot less stable than we would like. One day we’re blissful and the next we’re lost. Half the year we're too hot and the other half we're too cold. Our lives are too busy and then too quiet. And on and on. Life changes. A lot. Nothing stays the same for long.
As our wisdom deepens, the fundamental truth of impermanence grows ever clearer. We discover that the ground beneath our feet is a lot less stable than we often wish and we learn that we have less control over the world than we often want. This isn’t often a comforting realization. Given the choice, we might like to arrange our lives (and our loved ones) just so - just the way we like them - and have them stay that way. Forever.
The world's sages teach us, though, that there is a wiser way to live. When we deny life's fundamental impermanence, they say, we tend to believe that the way our lives are today is the way they’ll always be. We tend to believe people are more lasting and less fragile than they really are. We tend to concretize, to imbue a sense of permanence to things that aren't permanent at all. And then we get angry when things change. We get frustrated when people don't behave they way we expect them to. We fall into despair when bodies do what all bodies in history have done before us: get sick or old or worn out… and of course, eventually die.
Our denial of life’s impermanence has a tendency to lead us to take for granted the fantastic and phenomenal gifts that each small moment brings. We have a tendency to discount the enormity and brilliance of our lives - the dazzling colors, the feeling of sunshine on our cheeks, another blue-sky day in June. And, of course, we have a tendency to treat people like they will live forever, instead of appreciating the priceless gift of togetherness right here, right now, today.
Seeing clearly the truth of life - that it is always changing - offers us the opportunity to embrace and even welcome the ever-changing flow of life. It invites us to release our fierce grip on the reins and perhaps even relax into the fundamental uncertainties all around us. We can acknowledge and even welcome the fragility, the tenderness, the sweet ache that comes with knowing that everyone and everything has a limited time here on earth. We can live with faith and fearlessness in a world that we recognize is fundamentally not very predictable. As the wise ones like to say, we can't stop the waves, but we can learn to surf.
What does that mean, in real terms? It means that when we are down in the dumps, we accept the truth of this feeling, not stuffing it or pushing it away. We call a good friend - the one who always makes us smile. We go for a walk, because the green leaves of spring always soothe the soul. And, of course, we remember that nothing - not even sadness - lasts forever and that the sun will shine again.
It also means that when we’re happy, we make the most of the moment. We soak up the feelings of lightness and uplift and possibility. We recognize the gift and we spread it around as best we can. We share the goodness we’ve been gifted. We don’t hold too tightly, we simply wallow in the wonderfulness of the here-and-now. Knowing that this, too, is precious and changeable, we savor. We’re not surprised when the weather shifts and the rain begins to fall. And we don’t worry too much, because we know the sun will shine again.
It also means that while we plan for the future, we don't forget to live for today. Knowing how fragile life can be, we keep our priorities straight. We recognize each moment as a gift - one of kind, never to be repeated, simple and enormous all at once. We live in courage and faith, understanding that all we can really do is take good care of the present moment, hold it tenderly in our hands, and then trust that the future will take care of itself.
When we see clearly the fundamental instability of life, we treat it with respect and urgency and presence and care. We think more carefully about how to act. We commit more deeply to aligning ourselves with love. We take nothing for granted. We wake up.
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