So, what are we doing here, really? We are learning to cultivate a deeper sense of wisdom and presence in our lives through slowing down, paying attention and observing deeply. We are learning to calm our restless minds, to watch, to listen to the song of life.
And in the process, we are training our brains, encouraging the muscles of our mind to grow stronger and more focused. This process - through formal practice and informal in-the-world inquiry - helps us grow clearer, wiser and kinder. It helps us live deeply and happily. And it allows us to act with clear intention, in a spirit of love and care toward all. One of my very favorite explanations of this journey comes from meditation teacher Sylvia Boorstein. She says, "When we see clearly, we behave impeccably, out of love, on behalf of all beings."
My interpretation of her comment goes like this: When we see clearly the truth of the world - that my happiness is your happiness, that your sadness is my sadness, that we all yearn for happiness and love, that at heart we are all one - we act wisely in a way that is helpful rather than harmful to ourselves and others. We act in the spirit of love (again, in recognition of our deep connection and care). And we act not out of small-minded selfishness but rather with a generous spirit in a way that serves the greater world.
And this possibility gives us great hope. If we want to act well, love well and be well, we know just what to do. First and foremost, we need to see clearly. We need to understand more deeply the connection between our thoughts and actions and the greater world around us. In other words, we need to pay attention.
Truly attending to life requires that we slow down, that we listen deeply, that we look carefully for hidden webs of connection that live beneath the surface of our lives. Paying attention requires us to keep an eye on the big picture as well as the nitty gritty of each day, so that we may see clearly how the big and little pictures relate. And paying attention also requires us to let go of our habitual biases and crusty old judgments and thoughts. If we want to see each moment anew, we need to let go of our fierce allegiance to the past.
Attending closely to our lives is transformative, especially in a world that conspires to keep us distracted, fragmented and unsure of who we are. Thankfully, this adventure is not an all-or-nothing proposition. It's not "enlightenment or bust." If we can grow just a little clearer, a little wiser, and a little more loving, our lives will be radically transformed. We will be in a far better place than if we were to stay stuck in a muddle of confusion and stress.
Most of us, at least some of the time, stumble through each day utterly unaware of the thoughts, feelings, sensations and moods passing through us. Kids sometimes forget they are hungry, parents sometimes forget to feed their children, spouses sometimes argue when they're tired. Without such a basic understanding of who we are and what baggage we may be carrying in any moment, it's hard to make wise and informed decisions. Until we grow clear about what is really going on, until we learn to pay attention to the world within and around us, we will all remain dangerously prone to meltdowns.
Conversely, when we are clear about what's going on, we are more likely to make wise choices. When we notice that we are stressed, we can put off making important decisions. When we're tired, we can stay close to home. When we notice that a family member is on edge, we can offer a smile or a word of comfort instead of a critique. When we see the frenzy in a stranger's eyes, we can let them go ahead of us in the check-out line. And when we travel with children, we can remember to always bring along snacks.
In learning to pay close attention, we lay the groundwork for a lifetime of clarity and compassion. And hopefully we enjoy the journey, which is all we really have anyway. We never get there. Or, more truly - and beautifully - we are already there. Here. Now. And totally, wonderfully aware.