We have a funny notion in our culture that if we want to be happy, we need only rearrange the outer world in ways that please us. If we can get life to align just so, we imagine - perfect job, perfect spouse, perfect home - then never-ending peace will be ours. This delusion leads us to spend a whole lot of energy trying to micro-manage everyone and everything around us. Yet life has a way of defying our expectations, day in and day out.
Sages the world over suggest another path. If we want unshakable happiness, they say, it is our inner landscape we must rearrange. Wisdom suggest that we find ways to live in peace with the full range of human existence, even the parts we aren’t so sure we like. Our task is to cultivate skills that enable us to accommodate the needs of each moment with openness and warmth. To learn to manage with grace, in other words, whatever comes our way.
Some Nordic communities put it this way: “There’s no such thing as bad weather. There is only inappropriate clothing.”
Perhaps we might take on this wisdom as a friend, both literally and metaphorically. Instead of grumbling about the ever-changing weather we find when we look out the window each morning, we might seek ways to accept - and maybe even embrace - whatever we see. When it rains, we don our rain boots. When it snows, we reclaim our winter coats. When the temperature rises, we haul out our tank tops and baseball caps and prepare to work up a sweat. We might just surprise ourselves when we realize that we can thrive even when the temperature isn’t a perfect 70 degrees.
This “no bad weather” attitude isn’t just advice about managing winter snow and summer heat, of course. It is a hint about how we might approach our whole lives, about how we might learn to manage both the joys and challenges we face with a clear mind and a tender heart. Instead of trying to banish the metaphorical rainstorms and conjure up sunny skies forever, we might cultivate strategies that support us through the inevitable ups and downs of life. Whatever the world sends our way, we might rise to the challenge of making the most of each moment, with clear eyes and a warm heart.
Just how do we move in the direction of gentle weatherproofing, so that we can learn to make peace with each moment, just as it is? For starters, we get really good at touching, sensing, and witnessing the metaphorical weather of our lives, exploring the truth of each moment with tenderness and curiosity. We stop pretending that life is other than it is, especially when it is challenging. We learn to be a little less surprised by life’s unpredictability. We begin to consider the possibility that we can be happy without being pleased in every moment.
This can be a scary proposition, since many of us live with a secret fear that we lack the inner strength to manage life’s inevitable difficulties. We shortchange ourselves, though, living with a rather limited view of what we can manage with steadiness and grace. Maybe we are hardier than we think. Maybe we can tolerate more discomfort, more frustration - more wind and ice and rain - than we had imagined, in service to a vibrant and fulfilling life. Maybe we have the inner resources to not just survive uncomfortable weather, but to thrive in it.
We might even get so good at this approach that we begin looking at the “bad weather” of our lives as an opportunity to stretch and grow in new ways. We might call on our creativity and good spirit to create a meaningful life - acting with wisdom and love - no matter what joys or challenges we face. And when this happens, we’ll be able to lean fully into the adventure of our lives. We’ll head out the door with a smile each day - in clothing appropriate to the day - no matter what.